As I'm writing this, I'm currently on an express bus from Syntagma Square to the Athens airport. In a few hours, I will be flying to Rome. Alone.
Since being abroad in Athens, Greece, I've been doing a lot of reflecting about my life. Specifically, I've recently been marveling about how so many things have changed from just one year ago. One year ago, I still didn't know what I was doing with my college majors. I knew that I was going to finish my Classics major, but I kept flip flopping back and forth about what my second major would be. Besides the fact that I wanted to double major, having two areas of study is required by the Paterno Fellows Program, a liberal arts scholarship program to which I belong. One day it was psychology. The next it was anthropology. Then it was just giving up entirely. Finally, I decided to take the leap to pursue Global & International Studies with a specialization of Health & the Environment. I had wanted an environmental-associated major since I came into college, so I finally, truly went for it. After meeting with the director of the major as well as the program's advisor, I found out precisely what I needed for the major. Purely coincidentally, many of the classes that I had taken for fun (environmental philosophy, environmental engineering, political geography, etc) counted towards the requirements. Ultimately, I only had to take the 3 core GLIS classes (101, 102, and 400) to obtain the degree. Granted, I had to officially argue why some of my classes should count towards the major that weren't originally on the list, but doing that gave me even more experience in arguing my cases. For what seemed like the first time in college, everything was finally working out. I knew exactly what I needed for both my majors to graduate, and it was fantastic. Flash forward to yesterday afternoon when I was scheduling classes for the fall semester. Upon picking my classes, I discovered that I could actually, theoretically, graduate a semester early. One year ago, I was honestly convinced that I would never graduate. I felt that I had too many more requirements to fulfill and that I had no direction - nor a chance of finding a direction. It's absolutely crazy to think that I'm essentially done with my regular undergraduate credits (that honors thesis is a real wake up call from this euphoria, though) and that I'll have some flexibility of schedule for once in my life this coming academic year. But academics isn't the only thing that's changed in the past 12 months. As of Tuesday this week, I've applied to 12 summer internships. Last year at this time, I didn't even have a resume. I had no idea what I was doing with my summer, and had no specific internship goals. I soon discovered the internship opportunity that led to me being the sole editor of a local book project, but I had no intention of this initially. I scrambled to create a makeshift resume, which has changed completely from today's, and had no idea what I was doing. Now, my resume is highly tweaked and formatted, and I also know how to write a damn good cover letter in a short amount of time (had never written a cover letter before last semester). I actually have hopes for a job in a specific field this summer: editorial. I've applied to several different publishing houses, magazines, and nonprofits that range from political writing to feminist advocacy. Most of these positions are based either in New York City or Washington D.C. Also at this time last year, I had recently been dumped by my first boyfriend. I was not in a good place in my life back then. My ex had been very manipulative, mean, and emotionally abusive to me. I realized to an extent that being in a relationship with someone shouldn't be like that, but everything was still so new and exciting to me that I willingly brushed off all the (many) negative things he said and did to me. He was so flaky with his promises, and was very hot and cold. Looking back on the relationship, nothing was ever stable nor was any part of it ever really that good. I didn't realize any of this until months after I was out of the situation. But I was blinded by emotions and hormones and all those other annoying things that can completely cloud your judgement when you feel love for someone. I don't know why I thought he was so utterly amazing, but I did (tragically). Today, I'm happily single and not looking for anyone to seriously be in my life any time soon. I think sophomore-year Hannah was craving a new phase of experiences in her life, but let that desire for a significant other inhibit her in other ways. Was I ready for a relationship? I felt like it at the time, at least sometimes, but maybe I wasn't. I feel like a completely different person nowadays from that particular Hannah. I feel more sure of myself generally. I'm more confident and am not afraid to stick up for myself (even though you shouldn't have to do that with your real friends and SOs). I know that relationships are hard, but that they shouldn't completely wear you down, make you cry frequently, and and stop you from being your true self. I feel great on my own. I honestly don't feel like there's anything missing from my life, which is how it should be. Significant others should enhance you, not complete you. It's like that fantastic quote Shailene Woodley said once: "I always think of life as a pie. My pie is f*cking fine. I've got the best pie! It's so delicious. If you want to add some ice cream and sh*t on top, you are welcome to the party, but you don't get to take a slice of my pie." Furthermore, at this point last year, I had no idea that I would be traveling solo in Rome, let alone even be studying abroad in Athens. My decision to go abroad was made rather late in the game. Again, being the negative, cynical person I often am, I was convinced that I'd never be able to study abroad. I finally found out that The Athens Program fit the requirements for my Classics major and History minor perfectly, and that I could very likely go. So I applied, and eventually got my acceptance letter not quite 2 months later. Getting in was one thing, but actually accepting my offer was something completely different. I was actually so scared, to be honest. The night that my confirmation of attendance was due, there was a party going on in my summer sublet. So I grabbed a cup of jungle juice, chugged, and then hit the "confirm" button (sorry, parentals). Accepting my offer was one of the best decisions of my life. While I was super nervous, and the fact that I was studying abroad for an entire semester never did fully set in, I'm really glad I took this chance. Who knows when, and if, I'll ever be able to be in Europe again, let alone for this long? You've gotta be brave and step out of your comfort zone, man. I'm sure that initial step influenced my decision to travel solo to Rome. I managed to get myself to Athens for an extended period of time, so I could probably travel for three days on my own. I'll also finally be able to pull out my rusty Italian skills! It's been an interesting year full of ups and downs (and several haircuts and a few new piercings). Until recently, I didn't even realize just how much I've done in these last 12 months. Life certainly is strange. Now, off to Rome! - Hannah
1 Comment
Richard Bisbing (pop pop)
3/17/2017 05:37:08 am
Hooray, hooray for YOU!! Listen to YOUR heart and YOUR mind and aim for the stars.
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Hannah BisbingStudent @ Penn State. Figure skater. Writer. Traveler. Coffee fanatic. Foodie. Semi-professional people watcher who recently returned home from backpacking around Europe. All photos taken by me, unless otherwise noted.
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